Diamonds & Eagles

I don’t know about you, but I seem to always have the tendency to underestimate all that God is doing in and around me. I have a tendency to get caught up in myself, mostly naval gazing, wishing I was more faithful, more pure, more on top of things. Consistently feeling not good enough for my Father in heaven who loves me more than I could ever fully comprehend.

A few weeks ago, at the house of prayer, we took some time to dive deeper into Psalm 139. Again, it’s amazing what you’ll find when you look at the Hebrew in the context of what the Scripture is actually saying! My friend Janet brought to light some things that really impacted my heart.

“O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.”                                 •Psalm 139:1-6•

Where it says “You have hedged me”, it means “to bind, to confine, to besiege”. Besiege, in the dictionary, means “to surround with armed forces in order to capture it or force its surrender”. I saw myself, I saw all of us, confined within the palms of His hands. He searches me and knows me. He knows everything all together, and yet He draws near, pressing in all around me.

His holy flames of love engulf me every day and night, the heat and the pressure of His hands changing my fragile carbon substance into the purest, strongest, most beautiful substance on the earth.

Such knowledge is to wonderful for me! I want to be besieged by my Father in heaven. Though I may never be holy and blameless in my own eyes, this is how God sees me. He doesn’t see my black spots and imperfections. He see a flawless diamond in His hand.

Surrender opens wide the door to repentance. Repentance produces humility which is the key to unlocking prison doors as well as the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. Even now, I can see His grace taking me over, enabling me to walk in more obedience and love. Our God leads us with kindness and grace, and surely, mercy and goodness follow us all of the days of our lives.

One more revelation the Lord gave me was during another worship devotional at the house of prayer. I had a vision of an eagle, flying full force directly into a storm. There was lightening, thunder, rain, massive wind and clouds. The eagle hit the storm and caught the wind. It then flew straight up, broke through the clouds, and proceeded to fly above the storm, resting its wings on the wind.

There is a place where eagles fly above the storm
The sky is blue, the air is fresh, and the sun is warm
They can see for miles and miles
Resting on the wind all the while
Fly into the storm
Catch the wind and soar
Break through the clouds
Higher and higher now

Cast all your cares upon Me
Now is the time to fly…            •Michele Urlick•

We all know Isaiah 40:31…”Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles…” Did you know that word “wait” in Hebrew means to bind together, to expect, to be patient and tarry?

In the waiting, in the surrender, we are bound together with the Lord, almost like a rope. He surrounds us. He hedges us in, removing all that is not of Him, making us lighter and stronger. It’s not anything we do that makes this happen. It’s all Him. Another thing said to me is that He doesn’t care what sin I’ve committed or how many times I’ve failed. All He cares about is that I KEEP COMING BACK TO HIM IN SURRENDER and the sin and failures fall into the sea of forgetfulness. You and I are ALWAYS welcomed back into the arms of Love. Because of this truth, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

JOY comes when I align myself with God’s Word and His heart, and the JOY of the Lord IS my strength!

“Therefore….let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”    •Hebrews 12:1-2•

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Steadfast

Yesterday, I gave a word that I felt was from the heart of God. He had me get out old blogs that were written almost 10 years ago, and also, some of my old journals. They both were filled words the Lord had spoken, things He had revealed, promises He had made…all covered in His love. I found myself on the floor, weeping. It’s amazing how much we forget over time. All of the prayers that we’ve prayed and responses of grace and wisdom from the Father, they can become faded. It was a surreal moment having my 21 year old self challenge and encourage my 31 year old self. I think what amazed me the most that me heart is still crying out for the same thing…to be a true friend of God and be consumed by His love, that I would love Him well.

The word I stumbled upon in my reading put me on my face. I still can hear the pressing question…”Who do you say that I am?” Everything hinges on the answer to that question. I know Jesus has set me free, I know His glory is in me, I know He has given me the keys to kingdom of heaven to bind and to lose, and I know that when my aligns with His Word, nothing is impossible. Yet, I still find myself holding onto lies and setting limits on what He can do.

I found myself without words. I wanted to repent, but I didn’t even know how or what that looks like. He came. He met me. He lifted my head and said, “It’s ok. I will do it for you. I made the way for you.”

There is so much more He wants to give us! There is a fullness we have only seen glimpses of that we were created to walk in. It requires battling lies and allowing the glory inside to punch out the limits and boundaries we have placed around it. Even now, I can’t help but weep. There is such a deep groaning in my spirit to be completely consumed by Him, to walk to close to Him, I disappear. I want my heart ignited so… that I would never lose my wonder, the awe of who He is. Forever captured by His beauty, so in love, that I leap without looking and fly!

In one of my old blogs, I found a song that I had heard then and felt I should share now:

“I’m not a man. I cannot lie. I know the plans for your life. I’m asking you to dream again, believe again, and take the limits off of Me. I’m not a man. I cannot lie. I know the plans I have for you. They are My design. So I’m asking you just to hope again, trust again, and take the limits off of Me. All I’m asking is to take the limits off, take the limits off. Release Me to accomplish what I promised you. Take the limits off of Me, take the limits off. Release Me. Release Me.”

•Israel Houghton & The New Breed•

God is ruining my life in the most beautiful way. He’s coming in like a flood of mercy, delivering and healing me. This is who He is. I feel as though I am beginning to see Him for who He really is. Love. The more I let Him love me, the more my defenses fall, the more flesh is stripped away. Which reminds me of another gold nugget I found in my journal. I don’t remember who shared the revelation, but I wrote it down. When Jesus was whipped, the tearing of His flesh was the same as the tearing of the veil. Behind the veil, behind His flesh, was the Holy of Holies…the glory of God. Each time His flesh was torn, the more glory of God was revealed. What does a life completely stripped of all flesh and selfish desire look like? The glory, the face of God.

It is a dangerous prayer, but this my heart’s cry. Father, forgive me for putting limits on You. Remove the limits. Let Your love swallow my fear and pride. Transform my unbelief into a steadfast devotion, fueled by the oil of joy and Your fiery love. I know Your love is what makes me holy. I know that You are faithful. I can see You, showing Yourself strong in my weakness. Let a new song rise out of my deep, declaring the beauty of who You are. Don’t let me lose my awe of You. Don’t let me forget Your love. Jesus, create in me a new heart, just like Yours. Do what only You can do. I love You. Amen.

Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His steadfast love, that He may deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine. Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in Him, because we trust in His Holy Name. Let Your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.   •Psalm 33:18-22•

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