Walk By Faith…

…and not by sight. We have heard this Scripture before, but what does a life walking in faith really look like? How do we get the place of leaning fully into the strength of our Beloved and obeying His every word? How do we come to where we are fully surrendered to His love and where grace takes over causing us to never give up the fight against the enemy, to declare His word and stand firm on it? Where we are not tossed by the waves of the sea (emotions, other people’s words, lies from the enemy, etc.), and our gaze is fixated on the fire in His eyes…

I whole heartedly believe that God has begun a work to accomplish this very thing in us, in His Bride. In the last few months, I have noticed within myself that my flesh, mind, heart, and soul can be walking in opposition to what God says, yet my spirit is alive and binding itself to His Word, continuing to sing and declare the truth about Him, releasing light into the atmosphere. In the tumult of emotions and bombarding lies from the enemy, I find myself seeking His face, staring into the flames of love in His eyes, and securing a foothold on the truth. I’m not saying that I have entered into perfection and no longer become discouraged or sin, haha. What I am saying is that God is infusing me with His strength as I wait on Him, as I open myself more and more and let my trust go deeper in Him.

This past Friday night, during our service at the house of prayer, the Lord met with us. At first, He was gentle and kind, surrounding us with songs of deliverance. It was as though we were walking in the Garden of Eden with Him, in the cool of the night, communing with Him. Over the progression, it turned into being in the Garden of Gethsemane with Jesus, drinking from the same cup of ultimate suffering yer ultimate joy, and singing, “Not my will, but Yours be done.” Beautiful, powerful, dangerous, and freeing all at once. Jesus is coming back, and He is in the midst of preparing a Bride who will stand on His Word, uncompromising and unwavering, regardless of what comes her way. She will be pure and holy, fully infused with the strength of her Beloved, her King…the King of Glory!

“There is an army rising up
Warriors of love, the Bride of Christ
Found standing on the Rock
Standing on the Word of God

Pour out Your Spirit, pour out Your mercy
No more compromise
Reveal the hidden iniquities
Let us desire fire, purity, holiness, righteousness, love
Not our will, but Yours be done
Surround us with light, fill us with light
A city on a hill, releasing Your glory”                      (Some of what was sung on Friday night.)

This transformation is not an over night event. Nor is it easy or painless. However, He is patient and He is kind. He is faithful to finish the work He has begun in us. Surrender and humility are the keys to being transformed into vessels of pure light that release His glory all over the earth! We die with Christ that we may live in Him and with Him. He is worthy of it all!

The Lord let me to this Scripture the other day, and I was greatly encouraged.

And Hannah prayed and said: “My heart rejoices in the Lord; My horn is exalted in the Lord. I smile at my enemies, Because I rejoice in Your salvation. “No one is holy like the Lord, For there is none besides You, Nor is there any rock like our God.”

1 Samuel 2:1-2

I smile at my enemies because I rejoice in Your salvation. Nor is there any Rock like our God! In this, we walk by faith and not by what we see. God’s word is our reality. Eternity spent with Him in love is our HOPE.

During my worship devotional today, I began by singing the old hymn “Great Is Thy Faithfulness”.  A song painting such a beautiful picture about how awesome, kind, and faithful God really is. How sunrise brings new mercies from our Father. I started there, and then let the Holy Spirit take over. What is written below is a mixture of Song of Solomon, Revelation, some of the Psalms, 1 Samuel, and some things I felt God was showing me. It went back and forth between the desire of my heart to be close to Him and a picture He showed me of the Bride of Christ. The Lord has already established in His Word how it will be when He returns. All we need do is yield to work of His hand.

bride faith

Father, I pray that You would awaken us. Make us more aware of You and what You are doing. Prepare us for revival. Prepare us for persecution. Prepare us for Your return. We want to be the voice, we want to be the light, the bright and shining lamp, calling all who will listen and respond to You. Holy Spirit, remind us of the truth, of Jesus’ love and suffering, of the resurrection life and glory that resides in each one of us. You will have Your Bride. You will have Your inheritance. You will have Your glory. Lord, help us to be found faithful as You are faithful. Let us set our minds on things above, that Your peace would guard our hearts and the joy of walking with You would be our strength. Thank You, Father, for Your kindness that leads us to repentance, and for Your love that makes us holy. Do in us what only You can do. We love You, Abba. Amen.



Diamonds & Eagles

I don’t know about you, but I seem to always have the tendency to underestimate all that God is doing in and around me. I have a tendency to get caught up in myself, mostly naval gazing, wishing I was more faithful, more pure, more on top of things. Consistently feeling not good enough for my Father in heaven who loves me more than I could ever fully comprehend.

A few weeks ago, at the house of prayer, we took some time to dive deeper into Psalm 139. Again, it’s amazing what you’ll find when you look at the Hebrew in the context of what the Scripture is actually saying! My friend Janet brought to light some things that really impacted my heart.

“O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.”                                 •Psalm 139:1-6•

Where it says “You have hedged me”, it means “to bind, to confine, to besiege”. Besiege, in the dictionary, means “to surround with armed forces in order to capture it or force its surrender”. I saw myself, I saw all of us, confined within the palms of His hands. He searches me and knows me. He knows everything all together, and yet He draws near, pressing in all around me.

His holy flames of love engulf me every day and night, the heat and the pressure of His hands changing my fragile carbon substance into the purest, strongest, most beautiful substance on the earth.

Such knowledge is to wonderful for me! I want to be besieged by my Father in heaven. Though I may never be holy and blameless in my own eyes, this is how God sees me. He doesn’t see my black spots and imperfections. He see a flawless diamond in His hand.

Surrender opens wide the door to repentance. Repentance produces humility which is the key to unlocking prison doors as well as the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. Even now, I can see His grace taking me over, enabling me to walk in more obedience and love. Our God leads us with kindness and grace, and surely, mercy and goodness follow us all of the days of our lives.

One more revelation the Lord gave me was during another worship devotional at the house of prayer. I had a vision of an eagle, flying full force directly into a storm. There was lightening, thunder, rain, massive wind and clouds. The eagle hit the storm and caught the wind. It then flew straight up, broke through the clouds, and proceeded to fly above the storm, resting its wings on the wind.

There is a place where eagles fly above the storm
The sky is blue, the air is fresh, and the sun is warm
They can see for miles and miles
Resting on the wind all the while
Fly into the storm
Catch the wind and soar
Break through the clouds
Higher and higher now

Cast all your cares upon Me
Now is the time to fly…            •Michele Urlick•

We all know Isaiah 40:31…”Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles…” Did you know that word “wait” in Hebrew means to bind together, to expect, to be patient and tarry?

In the waiting, in the surrender, we are bound together with the Lord, almost like a rope. He surrounds us. He hedges us in, removing all that is not of Him, making us lighter and stronger. It’s not anything we do that makes this happen. It’s all Him. Another thing said to me is that He doesn’t care what sin I’ve committed or how many times I’ve failed. All He cares about is that I KEEP COMING BACK TO HIM IN SURRENDER and the sin and failures fall into the sea of forgetfulness. You and I are ALWAYS welcomed back into the arms of Love. Because of this truth, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

JOY comes when I align myself with God’s Word and His heart, and the JOY of the Lord IS my strength!

“Therefore….let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”    •Hebrews 12:1-2•






Yesterday, I gave a word that I felt was from the heart of God. He had me get out old blogs that were written almost 10 years ago, and also, some of my old journals. They both were filled words the Lord had spoken, things He had revealed, promises He had made…all covered in His love. I found myself on the floor, weeping. It’s amazing how much we forget over time. All of the prayers that we’ve prayed and responses of grace and wisdom from the Father, they can become faded. It was a surreal moment having my 21 year old self challenge and encourage my 31 year old self. I think what amazed me the most that me heart is still crying out for the same thing…to be a true friend of God and be consumed by His love, that I would love Him well.

The word I stumbled upon in my reading put me on my face. I still can hear the pressing question…”Who do you say that I am?” Everything hinges on the answer to that question. I know Jesus has set me free, I know His glory is in me, I know He has given me the keys to kingdom of heaven to bind and to lose, and I know that when my aligns with His Word, nothing is impossible. Yet, I still find myself holding onto lies and setting limits on what He can do.

I found myself without words. I wanted to repent, but I didn’t even know how or what that looks like. He came. He met me. He lifted my head and said, “It’s ok. I will do it for you. I made the way for you.”

There is so much more He wants to give us! There is a fullness we have only seen glimpses of that we were created to walk in. It requires battling lies and allowing the glory inside to punch out the limits and boundaries we have placed around it. Even now, I can’t help but weep. There is such a deep groaning in my spirit to be completely consumed by Him, to walk to close to Him, I disappear. I want my heart ignited so… that I would never lose my wonder, the awe of who He is. Forever captured by His beauty, so in love, that I leap without looking and fly!

In one of my old blogs, I found a song that I had heard then and felt I should share now:

“I’m not a man. I cannot lie. I know the plans for your life. I’m asking you to dream again, believe again, and take the limits off of Me. I’m not a man. I cannot lie. I know the plans I have for you. They are My design. So I’m asking you just to hope again, trust again, and take the limits off of Me. All I’m asking is to take the limits off, take the limits off. Release Me to accomplish what I promised you. Take the limits off of Me, take the limits off. Release Me. Release Me.”

•Israel Houghton & The New Breed•

God is ruining my life in the most beautiful way. He’s coming in like a flood of mercy, delivering and healing me. This is who He is. I feel as though I am beginning to see Him for who He really is. Love. The more I let Him love me, the more my defenses fall, the more flesh is stripped away. Which reminds me of another gold nugget I found in my journal. I don’t remember who shared the revelation, but I wrote it down. When Jesus was whipped, the tearing of His flesh was the same as the tearing of the veil. Behind the veil, behind His flesh, was the Holy of Holies…the glory of God. Each time His flesh was torn, the more glory of God was revealed. What does a life completely stripped of all flesh and selfish desire look like? The glory, the face of God.

It is a dangerous prayer, but this my heart’s cry. Father, forgive me for putting limits on You. Remove the limits. Let Your love swallow my fear and pride. Transform my unbelief into a steadfast devotion, fueled by the oil of joy and Your fiery love. I know Your love is what makes me holy. I know that You are faithful. I can see You, showing Yourself strong in my weakness. Let a new song rise out of my deep, declaring the beauty of who You are. Don’t let me lose my awe of You. Don’t let me forget Your love. Jesus, create in me a new heart, just like Yours. Do what only You can do. I love You. Amen.

Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His steadfast love, that He may deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine. Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in Him, because we trust in His Holy Name. Let Your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.   •Psalm 33:18-22•


Holy Love, Fire & Water

Yesterday morning, I began my devotional at the house of prayer with the chorus of a song called “Lord, I Need You” by Matt Maher, and the Lord took me on an incredible journey of His heart.

“I need You, Lord, I need You. Every hour, I need You. My one defense, my righteousness. Oh God, how I need You.”

I could then, and even still now, feel this cry rising up from the inside of me. My deep calling out to His deep. Wanting to be hungry, desperate…willing to be captured by the beauty of His holiness. I wanted to be found waiting there for Him, wanting more of His holiness in me, wanting more of Him.

In my last blog, I wrote about the rivers of living water that flow from the chests (John 7:38) of those who believe, and how it is an endless source of truth and freedom. Yesterday, I started to sing about those rivers, I remembered something the Lord showed me a few years ago. I saw Jesus sitting on the throne, and when He began to speak, water flowed as a river from His mouth. His voice of many waters (Rev. 1:15) surrounded and lifted me up. As I remembered this, I saw myself sitting under the His shade, waiting beside the river. The shade I was under was that of a tree of healing (Rev. 22:2). I just wanted to see Him and hear His voice. Then I was singing about being in that river, floating in the current of His voice, of His strength, and it took me back to Psalm 42. It was as if I could feel His waves and billows crashing over me, filling my deep, carrying me. This chorus came out, “I want to see You, I want to hear You, I want to know You and be found in You, Jesus…I see the fire in Your eyes, Your hair white as wool, I hear Your voice of many waters…” Then He revealed something that is amazing…

“You are Love. You are Holy. When I open wide to receive Your love, You’re making me holy. LOVE MAKES ME HOLY. This is what it looks like when Love speaks. Love breathes fire. Love’s voice pours living water. My earth (my soul) is in need of fire and water. Fire purifies earth, killing the weeds and everything, creating new and fertile dirt. Then water is poured, bringing new life. Love breathes fire. Love speaks water. Love is making me holy. Love is making me new.”

Our God is an all-consuming fire. Our God is the source of living water. Our God is love. He is completely other than, set apart, holy. And it is His holy love, fire, and water that transforms us into the image of His Son. “Holiness is Christ in me” (lyrics from Matt Maher’s song). When God looks at me, that holiness is all He sees. And so I sang, “I will set my gaze on You, and receive Your love…” Love covers me and you and everything in between.

I ended my devotional time with the song “The More I Seek You” by Zach Neese, but Jesus changed some of the lyrics and sang it back to me. He sings it over you too.

“Come and sit at My feet. Drink from the cup in My hand. Lay back against Me and breathe. You can feel My heartbeat. My love for you is deep. There is no need for you to stand. Come and melt in My peace…”


Don’t Lose Heart…

I have to be real here. Though I know God is doing something deep and great in me, it hasn’t expressed itself in instant change my life. My heart is to be found holy and faithful, and yet I’m still “fleshing out” and continuing to run to my vices that, of course, only bring temporary fleeting relief. I have noticed a difference in my reaction though. Instead of condemning myself and wallowing in my failure, I have felt the Lord’s strength rise in me causing me to stand back up, wipe the dirt off of my knees, and keep moving forward.

I feel like this is the crux of what God wants to do in all of us. If His word is true in that God  is love, and He is faithful to forgive a sincere heart, then truly NOTHING is impossible for us with Him! I look at my son, Joshua, and I think to myself, “There is nothing he could ever do that would make me love him less nor not accept him. He’s my son, and I love him.” I know this is only a small taste of the Father’s affection toward us. If we could really grasp this, believe and walk in it, the face of this planet would look very different.

I wanted to share something the Lord showed me the other day:

“Those who believe shall have fountains of living water flowing from their chests. You are the fountain that never runs dry. The Word became flesh that washes us every day. Living water flows over and through us. A never ending supply of truth that transforms. All of my fountains are in You. Clean and free. It is Your voice of many waters. I float in these waters, letting Your voice and Your strength carry me to where I need to be. Moving and resting all at once.”

Then this past Sunday morning, during worship, I could here Jesus calling the Bride. He was saying, “Let the new song arise, lift up your sword!” I saw the connection immediately. THE WORD. His Word washes over us, it becomes an endless spring within us through the Holy Spirit, it directs us through the Bible and His voice, and redesigns our inward parts…. Then…. a new song arises from our hearts. A song that is the Word. And just as the King of Glory girds a sword upon His thigh, as do we. The sword that is the Word of God. All of this speaks of identity, victory, intimacy, and trust in Jesus, our Savior.

All of this to say, I am broken and continue to mess up every day. I fall incredibly short of being found holy and faithful, by my definition. His definition says that I am already holy, blameless, and faithful in His sight. And again…if His Word is true and He is love…

“My joy, I give to you. My peace, I leave with you. Don’t lose heart…I have overcome the world. Greater am I. I have made a way for you. Abide now in My love. Think on things above. Don’t lose heart…I have overcome the world. Greater am I. You will be with Me in My glory. For I…I am with you…” (A song Jesus sings to all of us.)


Come To Me

“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:29) (Jesus)

On Wednesday mornings in the prayer, we spend time meditating and praying over a specific scripture. Every week is different, and every week, the Lord has something new and beautiful to reveal. Today, we focused on Matthew 11:29. I have read this scripture before many times, but the life altering revelation of what Jesus was truly saying didn’t hit me until many months ago.

In the scriptures leading up to this one, Jesus is speaking to the people who had gathered. After calling the cities and the people to humility and repentance, He thanks the Father, the Lord of heaven, for hiding the revelations and treasures of heaven from those who think themselves to be wise and prudent in and of themselves and has chosen to reveal them to babes. The babes are the little ones. These are the ones who become as children, humbled and completely dependent on Him. Childlikeness equals humility; letting go and leaning on Him.

He moves on to say that all things are delivered to Him by His Father, and He, the Son, chooses to whom He will reveal those things. He then releases the invitation, “Come to Me…” Come hither, come toward Me, follow after Me, learn of Me, and I will give you rest. Rest within our hearts, minds, and souls flows from coming to Him and becoming like Him which requires the laying down of our rights, our wisdom, our wills, and ultimately our lives.

In thinking upon and studying Matthew 11:19, I looked up a few of the words in the Greek to gain a better understanding and clearer meaning of what Jesus was saying. I won’t go into all the details and definitions, but I rewrote the scripture, adding those things and some words I felt the Holy Spirit speaking…

“Come to Me. Look at Me. Take this yoke that has already been raised, lifted above you, come under with Me and bear it upon you, that you might learn and experience Me, receive deeper revelation of who I am. For I am kind, moderate in action and humble, completely dependent on My Father which defines the very center of My being as His son. As you learn, you will cease from your labor, from your striving of making your own way, and you will find true rest, true grace that is sufficient for you. You will find My strength taking you over, where all of your doing comes simply from BEING. I will always freely extend to give Myself away to you for I am always leaning toward you. Lean into Me.”

The Father reveals the hidden things and pours out His strength to those who run to Him with open arms as a child, as His son who He loves. If we have truly seen Jesus, we have seen the Father. If we let go, and learn from Him, the One who He Himself IS completely dependent on the Father (defining His very being), then we will walk in the same gentleness and humbleness, no longer striving in our own strength, but find rest in our souls. We find our hearts undivided in fearing and trusting Him, defined by His love for us. We will learn “to be” from the One who “is”. He IS the Son, therefore, we learn TO BE sons. THIS IS THE TRUE DEFINITION OF REST.

In a previous blog, I said that in this, all I can do is continue to lift up my open hands, lift up the “YES” in my heart that He would come and have His way in me. Like a child, running to my Father, hands in the air, knowing He will grab hold of me and lift me up! And He will redesign my inward parts with His Word.

“God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt (lift you up) you in due time, casting all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:5b-7)

Childlikeness = humility = state of being = moving in His strength and confidence = nothing is impossible = rest for the soul. This is an open standing invitation from the Father, to see and hear Him, and then go do and speak out of the place of true sonship; the place of love where all fear is cast out.

If you’ve never heard the song “Fountains” by Jon Thurlow…you should!


The Glory Inside

“And the glory which You gave Me, I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.” (Jesus) (John 17:22-23)

This past Friday night, I was scheduled to lead worship. That morning, during our worship intercession set for Israel, the Lord was speaking about breaking down walls, pulling down everything that exalts itself against Him. It weighed heavy on my heart all into the evening service. I felt like God wanted to bring down walls in our hearts, and release healing. Healing of deep wounds as well as pain that can and often comes with the crashing down of walls. We started worship with setting our eyes on Jesus, captured by His awesome beauty.  It’s amazing how everything seems to change when you enter into the throne room…

“Here I stand before the very throne, very throne of God. I’m captivated by the Holy One. I gaze upon You as You’re shining bright, shining like the sun. Who is like You? There is no one.” (A song I heard at IHOPKC.)

As we were singing, the Lord showed me something remarkable. In the Spirit, I saw a huge, thick, concrete wall that formed a complete circle. Inside the wall was a big ball of light. I immediately know that it was the light of glory, His glory, shining inside each one of us. The ball of glory started to pulsate, and from within it, came a shout! The force of the sound and the light burst and the walls exploded out! That shout was victory. That shout was identity. That shout was the glory wanting out!

“There is a shout! There is a shout! Let the glory out! Let the glory out! Did you know that all creation is groaning for the revealing of the sons of God? Of the sons of God? I am a son of God! I am a child of God!” (A chorus we sang on Friday night.)

It struck me because whenever I think about walls coming down, I tend to think of an outside force punching the walls in. This force, the glory, was already within and punched these walls out! It led me to John 17. The glory that the Father had given to Jesus has been given to us. The Father in Jesus and Jesus in us…abiding in the vine.

I realize I’m not saying anything new, but I began to dig a little deeper by looking at that word “glory” in the Greek. The word doxa means honor, renown, glory, an especially divine quality, unspoken manifestation of God, splendor, heavy weight of glory, God’s infinite intrinsic worth, what evokes good opinion, approval, brightness, and majesties. What stood out to me was the unspoken manifestation of God and His infinite intrinsic worth…given to us! Which led me to another scripture…

“To them (His saints), God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” (Colossians 1:27)

The same Greek word for glory is used there. Hope, in the Greek is elpis, which means hope, expectation, trust, confidence, to anticipate, welcome, and expectation of what is sure. Hebrews 11 says that faith is the evidence of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. It’s all connected. Our Father in heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ have given to us not just glory, but the HOPE OF GLORY. He lives inside of us, has declared us His own, and has given us all power and authority through our sonship to stand on His word. There is glory inside of us, wanting to burst out! Glory that is the substance, the essence of who He is. Glory that overflows when we abide in Him and He in us.

In my last blog, I wrote that what we believe about God, true and untrue, affects EVERYTHING we say and do. It affects who we believe we are. It affects how we see each other. It affects how well we walk in boldness, faith, hope, joy, and love. I want this revelation to change my heart. I want to see how He sees and anchor myself to this hope.

“Every word You say is true. I can do nothing apart from You. Where else could I go? Why would I try? You have the words, the light of life. You’ve given this to me. A wonderful, beautiful mystery. Jesus inside of me, the hope of glory. You are my hope, the strength of my life. You are my hope, the glory inside. There is peace that guards my heart when I meditate on things above. There is peace that guards my heart when I abide in Your perfect love. I have come to seek Your face, come before the throne of grace. I stand in expectation of what is sure. You are filling me with glory and making me pure. You are radiating glory, permeating all of me. Pure…blameless…transformed…blameless…” (Some of the things I was singing today during my devotional at the house of prayer.)

Strength of My Heart

“Whom have I in heaven, but You? And there is none upon the earth I desire more than You. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever – But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all Your works.” (Psalm 73:25-26,28)

For some time now, I have felt that I should start a blog. Years ago, when MySpace was the “thing”, I would post blogs every other day about what God was doing in my heart and the world around me. I have written a few notes on my Facebook page here and there, but I’m hoping to be more consistent with this. There is much the Lord wants to say, and I want to be a vessel He can use.

With that said, I felt like I should share about the last year and a half of my life. You could say that, spiritually speaking, I have been in a deep pit. I was beginning to believe that I may not see the light of day again. God has never left my side, and through this time, I have still heard Him singing songs of deliverance over me, yet my heart was not responding as I had wanted it to. Old habits and sins that I had once claimed victory over were creeping their way back into my life, and my time in the secret place had become a memory I so desperately wanted resurrect. I found myself seemingly drowning in my weakness. However, the Lord never relented on holding me, speaking His love and identity into me, forgiving me, and teaching me what it means for His strength to be made perfect in my weakness. This last year and a half has been all about true grace, hope, faith, humility, and learning to rest in the truth that I AM A CHILD OF GOD.

A few weeks ago, I was in a place of anger, sadness, feeling lost. I kept asking God, “If my heart is truly transformed, how do I hold onto it? How do I hold onto victory when it feels like grace has left me? What else should I do?” I felt like there HAD to be SOMETHING I could do. Something more than I have been; feeling like I was bursting at the seams, and not sure why I was feeling this way or what I should do. I talked to my husband about it and decided I need to take a few days and go to the prayer room in Kansas City. My intentions were to meet with Jesus, to hear His voice, and receive some clarity and direction. What I came home with was so much more… This is what He said:

“LOOK AT ME! Who are you? Who do I say you are?! Declaring ‘I am a child of God’ defeats every lie, every snare, every temptation, and moves every mountain! The shout that crushed the walls of Jericho was a shout permeated in who I AM and who Joshua and his people knew they were…My chosen, My beloved. You are My beloved! I will cause you to stand on My Word and My Word alone. Let yourself fall. I will catch you and redeem the time. You are not lost! You are my vessel that I have chosen. A vessel for My glory! Do not focus on ‘what if’! Do not think about future mistakes or fear of letting Me down. I have called you by name. I chose YOU. And I say, you are a vessel for My glory!”

I realized He gave the answer to the cry of my heart. The answer is the steadfast declaration of I AM A CHILD OF GOD! The very answer that Jesus spoke to Satan in the wilderness when He was fasting. I live on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God! It is the voice of my Father who defines me and is my victory. It doesn’t mean I will never mess up or sin again. It means I have Jesus, the hope of glory, living inside of me with resurrection power and life, surging through my veins. I am finally beginning to get passed myself and LOOK AT HIM. His blood made a way for me and covers me. How could I possibly allow the enemy to convince me otherwise?

I saw myself running. Running the race. I stumbled and I fell. I fell on the Rock, broken into pieces. Torn by He who loves me. All so that He could lift me up, heal me, that might run again, only this time, in His strength alone. In this journey, I have discovered that humility and childlike faith are one in the same, and I have yet so much to learn, so much to see. But this time, instead of trying to figure out how to “maintain” and make a list of what I should and shouldn’t do, I am simply lifting up the “YES” in my heart to the Lord and letting Him redesign my inward parts with His word. For me, it is a new day.

“If you abide in Me, you will know the truth. The truth shall set you free, if you believe. I AM the light of the world. You will not walk in darkness, but have the light of life. I AM the Son, and I have set you free…”

What we believe about God affects EVERYTHING we say and do…and everything we don’t say and don’t do. It’s time to break agreement with lies and declare what’s true about God, to gaze on Him daily and let His beauty transform us. It’s not an instant thing, but it’s a beautiful, messy process that God loves because He loves us.

There is no fear here…I am a child of Perfect Love.


The Lord is always speaking. He’s is forever singing His lovingkindness over us. He is the Lord of all creation, of heaven, and earth, and yet desires to draw us close and reveal to us His secrets. My heart for this blog is to encourage everyone who reads this with wisdom and encouragement from Him. It is His Word that we stand on, that strengthens us, that washes us, and sustains our very being. We are His children, designed to be kings and priests before Him, and ultimately, to be His Bride, united with Him in suffering and in glory. He is faithful when we are faithless. My deepest desire is to know Him and be found in Him…let’s walk together…